05.18
I went on our Facebook page, and asked you guys what you wanted to read about. A dude and beard fan named Caleb suggested the top ten beards of all time. Naturally I took that as I could pick which ones I liked the best, call them the best beards of all time, and convince all of your to agree with me. I am woman, hear me roar.
10. Abe Lincoln
Crooked bow tie or not, this man lead our country to great things with that short, clean beard. Too bad he didn’t have a better taste in entertainment. Too soon…?
9. Zach Galifianakis
I don’t know which one I want to get more lost in: his oceany eyes, or his forest of a beard.
8. Alan Moore
You can thank him for things such as V for Vendetta and From Hell, but according to this picture he is also living life as a wizard, mall Santa, writer, and Rasputin impersonator. Sit down Mariah, this is what a quadruple threat looks like. Triple threat is so 2003.
7. Rasputin
If you don’t understand the ways of Rasputin you need to go back to school. Looking up pictures of him set a timer for nightmares later this evening. Healer to Alexei Romanov, sure. Mystic, maybe. Owner of frightening eyes only a mother could love, definitely.
6. Santa Claus
It’s mother fucking Santa Claus. The end.
5. Charles Darwin
Natural selection, evolution, cousin lover. I like his a-symmetric beard. It’s very edgy and in this season.
4. Allen Ginsberg
I love how his beard is not only thick and plentiful, but it’s salt and peppery. It shows age and wisdom and makes sense for one of the founding beat poets. You diggin’, you angel-headed hipsters?
3. Karl Marx
Where does his hair end and his beard begin!? It’s madness! I have read part of The Communist Manifesto and it is a little too political for my blood, I’d rather stick with Ayn Rand.
2. Billy Gibbons and Dusty Hill of ZZ Top
I’d be lying if I said sometimes if I pass my bare legs in a mirror I don’t sing “She’s got leeEEgs…she knows how to use them..”. Sing along.
1. Gandalf
Conclusion….I’m a nerd.
There it is. Read it and weep you boners.
Currently Listening: The Murder City Devils- Rum to Whiskey
-Andrea B.
